⛰️ The WVU community is still fighting proposed program cuts. Here are some links and my letter to the administration. Add your signature to this petition and this message from alumni now! 🗯️
Dear reader,
Why do middle-aged men love stopping me in public to tell me Steely Dan fun facts so much? I recently got caught singing along to “Do It Again” and performing what I thought was a stealthy body roll. Of course, a man asked if I liked Steely Dan and then if I knew Chevy Chase was the original drummer. Do men come equipped with mental lists of Steely Dan trivia once they reach a certain age?
Well, ladies, in the name of feminism or something like that, I’ve got some Danfacts for us:
Steely Dan is two main dudes, Donald Fagen and Walter Becker, plus a rotating cast of other musicians.
The band is named after a dildo in the novel Naked Lunch by William Burroughs. We can read it together for Steely Dan Book Club if you’d like.
Chevy Chase was not the original drummer for Steely Dan; he was, in fact the drummer for The Leather Canary, one of Donald Fagen and Walter Becker’s previous bands.
Donny and Marie Osmond, Mormon showbiz siblings, once covered the Steely Dan hit “Reelin’ in the Years”. Say what you want, but that’s camp, baby!
I would give you more now, but I have decided to make this an ongoing segment, working title “Danfacts Are for Women, Too: Snippets About Steely Dan to Share Unsolicited at the Antique Mall”.
Seeking Big Dumb Shirts and Little Guys
I spent a large chunk of my weekend trawling for vintage and antique spots downtown. I’m a sucker for a trinket or a Big Shirt and need to know I can get my fix should an emergency arise.
In my experience, antique malls are a good way to survey the topography of a region’s culture. For example, in the tri-state area of West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Ohio, you’ll find a lot of pottery, glassware, and steel mill and mining memorabilia—sometimes even lunch pails or miners’ helmets. These industries have had a massive impact on the region, its cities and towns, and its culture, some of them still a feature today and some dead and gone, leaving residents to rebuild for years in their wake. There are also plenty of handcrafts—one time, I found an entire section of carvings by a disabled veteran at a small-town antique stop.
Bloomington, thus far, has shown me plenty of things I expected—NASCAR, denim, Indiana University memorabilia, and country themes (both music and decor). I also ran into a surprising number of cool vintage clothes and instruments (no theremin, though). I’m still thinking about a pair of tiny Dale Earnhardt car earrings I didn’t buy. Perhaps when I feel midwestern enough, I’ll scoop them up to pair with an iconic “Not Everything is Flat in Kansas” tee.
For this trip, I settled on three spots to swing by, more than enough to fill one Sunday. The verdict? Well, as the great philosopher Meatloaf once said, “Don’t be sad, two outta three ain’t bad”.
The first place I hit was The Garret. It reminded me so much of the Whatnot Shoppe in Morgantown that I had to swing in! It’s basically a cool old lady’s huge house filled with every manner of trinket and lots of rocks and glassware. If you need a shotglass or a weird porcelain lamb, look no further! I’ll be going back next time I’m in that corner of town.
Then, I took a long and winding journey through the Bloomington Antique Mall. That place? SLAPPED. It was at least three floors and almost the entire basement was full of clothes! There were also tons of records and a wealth of jazz CDs; unfortunately, I am on a vinyl hiatus til I find myself a new phonograph. I nearly bought a Big Rascal Flatts Shirt (there were three options—three) and a framed Jonas Brothers Rolling Stone poster (“God! Girls! Guitars!”) but I would’ve had to haul my treasures home on foot. Plus, I’d presumed that the last spot I hit would have the best Big Shirts of the day.
The aforementioned last spot was a store promising “jawns”, which usually means Garfield paraphernalia, trucker caps, cool sneakers, and Big Garth Brooks Shirts. What I got was a blast of male energy in the form of one of those Man Podcasts playing loudly. You know the ones; two or three men film themselves sitting around with microphones riffing about conspiracies or the wildest places they’ve had sex. It’s always the kind of dudes you’d see in the hot tub at a gathering and whisper to your girlies, “Man, guess we’re gonna have to skip the tub tonight, that doorknob looks like he’s about to loudly have a Take at us if we get in there with him”. Disregarding any freshness of the jawns, I made a quick egress. Alas!
Bean Broad
This installment of Bean Broad is sponsored by Nikki, who bought me a coffee and also wished my large stuffed ape well.
🍒 Hopscotch Coffee
Ding ding ding! Give it up for the new leader on the Bean Broad board!
I’ve taken to asking for a recommendation from each barista I encounter and just riding the wave. That was clearly a good call at Hopscotch—their coffee jockey hooked me up with a raspberry tea and honey latte, a fruity floral banger. The coffee itself was actually really good, which is not something I tend to expect in a Little Concoction, but which is always a delightful surprise.
The barista also tossed me a reccy for two other coffee places (Needmore and Inkwell, plus Hopscotch’s second location) and an antique mall (Jeff’s Warehouse, which I’ll for sure be hitting up).
Extra Bits
☕️ If you buy me a coffee (not that I’d ever expect that!), you get to tell me the next place to try out. I’ll go anywhere! I’ll also taste test beers—Brew Broad?
🕰️ I got the job at the archives that I was hoping for! Fingers crossed I’ll get my mitts on some real weird old biz and that I’m allowed to tell you all about them.
📻 I’m actually planning to keep the Danfacts section going, so if you have any quality Danfacts you’d like to spread around, do share them with me.
Ok but I am also very disappointed that you did not grab those Dale Earnhardt car earrings when you had the chance. We have a thrifted Dale mug that is Ian's prized possession. The handle on it was actually shattered after one of us dropped it (can't remember who), and Ian superglued it back together. Our other prized possession was a Shrek glass that was released by McDonald's to promote Shrek 4 back in 2010, but I learned THIS YEAR via TIKTOK that there has been a recall on those cups for over a decade, since the paint contains toxic levels of cadmium. We sadly bid (bade?) farewell to that cup a few months ago, but did we really need to when the brain damage has likely already set in for us both? Idk. Anyways, happy antique hunting and I hope you are loving your new home!!!