Dear delightful reader,
I have a lot I want to talk about and not a lot of capacity to be scholarly at the moment, so don’t expect anything like last issue’s meeting with a manuscript. I’m on fall break. A lady can’t be expected to share anything other than foolery on such an occasion. But that won’t stop me posting!
First, a poll! I need your input. I’m working on a project for my History of the Book class and need to decide whether to focus on Robert Burns’ poems or Edmund Spenser’s Faerie Queene. If I pick Burns, I’ll be spending time with an 18th century tome and some original manuscripts that we evidently have. If I go with Spenser, I have access to several volumes of The Faerie Queene from 1509. I have already touched and sniffed both (which is encouraged).
Okay, back to business.
An Archivisit
Last Wednesday, we had the 10th Archivist of the United States, David Ferriero, in for a visit. He did a Q&A, which was genuinely interesting—we learned more about how one becomes an Archivist of the United States, what one of those actually does, and how the National Archives and Records Administration (aka NARA) held sleepovers for kids in their rotunda. He also recounted the story of When Elvis Met Nixon, one of my favorite American tales (ever so slightly behind Fievel Goes West).
When Elvis Met Nixon goes a little somethin’ like this:
Elvis Presley, aka “the King”, was obsessed with collecting law enforcement badges and wanted to add a Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs (aka the DEA these days) “Federal Agent-at-Large” badge to his collection; however, the BNDD was not willing to cough one up. Elvis was persistent, though, and cooked up what we’ll just call a brilliant scheme—he hastily scrawled a letter to President Richard Nixon on American Airlines stationery mid-flight, in which he implored Nixon to deputize him as an agent in the war on drugs. According to Elvis, he was not considered an enemy or part of “the establishment” by “drug culture”, “the Hippie Elements”, and “Black Panther”, and, therefore, was the perfect chosen one to take down drugs in America, a homeland he assured Tricky Dick that he loved.
Elvis hand-delivered his letter to the White House, where it quickly reached Nixon because, apparently, he had several Elvis fans on his staff. Bam! Just like that, Elvis’ meeting with the president was set for noon thirty the next day.
During their tête-à-tête, Elvis evidently “immediately began showing the President his law enforcement paraphernalia” and “indicated that he had been playing Las Vegas”, a feat which the president said he understood was quite difficult. (Another feat which is quite difficult is writing up this meeting in a way that’s funnier than the actual meeting minutes, so have a block quote.)
The President mentioned that he thought Presley could reach young people, and that it was important for Presley to retain his credibility. Presley responded that he did his thing by “just singing.” He said that he could not get to the kids if he made a speech on the stage, that he had to reach them in his own way. The President nodded in agreement.
Presley indicated that he thought the Beatles had been a real force for anti-
American spirit. He said that the Beatles came to this country, made their money, and then returned to England where they promoted an anti-American theme. The President nodded in agreement and expressed some surprise. The President then indicated that those who use drugs are also those in the vanguard of anti-American protest. Violence, drug usage, dissent, protest all seem to merge in generally the same group of young people.
Elvis assured Tricky Dick that he knew a lot about “Communist brainwashing” and drug culture, which he had been studying for over 10 years, and that he was well able to go right into a group of “young people or hippies” and be accepted, which would make him a real humdinger of a BNDD agent.
Finally, Elvis hugged Dick, gave him a Colt .45 and some family photos, and proceeded to snag one of the most upscale presidential presents available directly from Nixon’s Secret Gift Desk Drawer.
Now, you all are probably wondering—okay, did Elvis ever get what he came for? Well, as it turned out, he was presented with his long-coveted badge by the BNDD director following a magical lunch at the White House.
Thanks, Mr. President!
FIN.
You can find more deets and read Elvis’ full letter to Dick on the NARA and White House history websites. There’s also a great Drunk History segment featuring Jack Black as Elvis if that’s more your speed.
Now back to a few more tidbits about the National Archives.
Did you know NARA is on Giphy? Go git your GIFs, kids!
Lastly-but-not-leastly, if you’re interested in being a “citizen archivist” (which is what NARA calls its volunteers), you can help out with transcriptions of documents, especially those written in cursive, as loads of people can’t read them now. This ole timer is on it!
Tour de Toilet
I posted a picture of one of my favorite bathrooms on my Instagram close friends story the other day and people were going wild over it, hearting that shit like mad. So, I am taking this time to do some bathroom ratings and give the people what they want (pictures of bathrooms).
The bathroom at my office job
This bathroom makes me feel like an influencer with its ring light-ass mirrors. It is my nightmare to be an influencer. Also, the sink is wack and you can’t spit or pour coffee in there. 4/10.
The bathroom at the archives
She’s pretty in pink and has a persistent weird smell: it’s the fourth floor bathroom where I constantly slip out of the archives to wash the feeling of paper off my hands. She’s got a decent vibe and a serviceable aura. 6/10
The bathroom on the employees only floor of the library
I love this bathroom. I gasped a little the first time I opened the door and beheld its teal tile. And bonus: the third floor has windows and my floor does not, so I can get a quick window break in. Bonus: I have never seen another living soul in there. 8/10
My bathroom at home
This bathroom may be small, but it is sure erotic, which I know for a fact because some lady online said the Garden of Earthly Delights shower curtain I ordered makes her husband “randy”. Join the club, buddy. Hieronymous Bosch was onto some real hot girl shit! 10/10
That’s it for bathroom reviews! Do you have a favorite wash closet you think I should visit? Leave me a tip in the comments!
Tasty Miscellany
🎞️ BB’s film of the week
It’s a double feature because your humble author followed up a recent assertion that she has no TV with the caveat that she fills the void with YouTube and is “into films, though”. A lady must keep up appearances!
Labyrinth (1986) dir. Jim Henson
My sick friends told me that this film was “so you” and “I cannot believe you have not watched this yet” and “you need to watch this” so I had movie night with the cat and got educated.
Why is Jareth Labyrinth so hot? Jareth Labyrinth is so hot. Very unfair to put David Bowie in those leggings and saucy boots.
Gargoyles (1972) dir. Bill Norton
Somehow,
and I fell headfirst into the world of omegaverse gargoyle romance novels last month, which led us to a point where we blocked out designated time in our wild and precious lives to watch Gargoyles (1972). It (impressively?) managed to be much worse than an omegaverse gargoyle romance—the plot was nonexistent, the fight scenes and romance were tepid at best, and we felt like we’d only watched 15 minutes of this thing when we were an hour and 15 minutes in.Sisters (1972) is defintely the better Jennifer Salt film.
💿 BB’s weekly jam
The Land is Inhospitable and So Are We by Mitski
No one writes about love, loneliness, and longing quite like Mitski, and her newest album is no exception to that rule. I took it on a test drive (er, walk to the CVS) during a rainstorm. The verdict? Sublime.
My very own early autumn ‘23 playlist
Speaking of loneliness, tis the season for yearning but also, like, a playful, flirty vibe and lending someone your jacket on a crisp day. Got all that?
Some other things I enjoyed
🐀 Rat Movie: Mystery of the Mayan Treasure and Rat Movie 2: The Movie
🦪 Olivia’s music video for “Grace”, in which she interviews a shell
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
🦜🪽✨ RIP Charlie Bird, a Bloomington legend. I shall greatly miss admiring your bright plumage from across the meadow on swing night. Fly high, polychromatic angel! ☁️💫
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
Awesome post but I might have messed up the perfect 69 views. Apologies!
The Tour de Toilet was a tour de force.